There’s 1 Big Thing No One Tells You About Parenting: It’s Terrifying

BEING A PARENT is the most fun, but also the most terrifying thing I’ve ever done.

From the moment the hospital allowed me to leave with a little human life strapped into a car seat and not even an “Alright, good luck!” my brain was long subjected to a weird chemical cocktail of fear and elation. Some people—free-soloing mountain climbers, skydivers, underwater welders—must love this kind of dangerous fun. I, however, make cartoons for a living.

In fact, I even remember when my kids were young and another couple wanted us to get a sitter so we could all go see a horror movie. I couldn’t handle the idea of going.

I had enough stress just trying to keep my children alive. How could I handle even the imaginary threat of witnessing a group of unsuspecting teens methodically picked off by a ruthless masked serial killer?

Watching my kids slowly but surely become their own thinking, functioning human beings is gripping entertainment enough.

“Fun” doesn’t really capture all of what it means to parent. Parenting is engrossing. Parenting is wild. Parenting does this thing where I think I know where the narrative is headed and then—whammo!—plot twist. (M. Night Shyamalan has three daughters, you know.)

The terror did eventually (and mercifully) fade for me. My two kids grew up and my role as dad evolved from a main character toward more of a recurring role. And I’m not just totally okay with that—I’m stronger for it.

Maybe in my next life I’ll be a free-solo climbing, skydiving, underwater welder, but I get a feeling that, even in that case, parenting will still be the scariest thing I do.